Dirty Burger vs. Honest Burgers

Kentish Town’s Dirty Burger, has just set up shop below the arches of Vauxhall station - I reviewed the breakfast they do here a while ago. But how does the North London "Dirty" burger compare to Brixton Market's Honest burgers? Bring on the meat sweats and over-eating, a burger-off was the only way to find out!

Dirty Burger

Honest Burger

The Burger

The Dirty Burger cheeseburger was the only one on the menu and it arrived looking like it had been scrunched in someone’s sweaty mustard-inked hand. The patty was cooked to medium and had a comfortable bite width, with a garnish of gherkins, burger cheese and crisp iceberg lettuce. It was slightly over seasoned but nothing a blob of sweet ketchup couldn’t neutralise.

The success of this burger is in the name: Honest. You know what’s in it unlike the half pounders that were scandalised in the horse meat gate. But now the burger has truly been given a rebrand and this one is a shining example.

Not at all greasy, the Honest cheeseburger arrived perfectly formed inside a fluffy glazed bun. Upon closer inspection, the medium rare patty was made using larger cuts of ‘Great British Meat’, I know this because it was emblazoned on their window. Proper cheddar cheese melted thickly over the meat with a sweet red onion relish and lettuce neatly piled on top. This was almost a perfect burger and that’s a tough task, considering it was tried after the Dirty Burger and the meat sweats had already kicked in.

DB 0-1 HB

Dirty Burger crinkle cut chips

Rosmary House fries

 The Chips

Dirty Burger’s were delightfully fluffy on the inside while being crispy on the out. Bonus points for the nostalgic crinkle cut kids-esque shape, but it’s tricky when up against something so sophisticated as Honest Burger’s Rosemary house chips. That single herb, effortlessly saying, it’s not a naughty greasy chip, it’s actually something rather gourmet.

DB 1-1 HB

The Drinks

At Dirty Burger, a small can of Brew Dog’s Dead Pony Club pale ale will set you back a staggering £4, otherwise it’s a Heineken for the same price. For what they lack in drinks variety, they make up for in milkshakes. We slurped the extremely chocolaty chocolate milkshake, which doubled up as a desert.

Honest Burgers has a nice selection of lagers and Redchurch ales as well as a special - a blonde Blanche de Bruxelles which was light and refreshing - was the perfect accompaniment to a heavy burger.

DB 0-1 HB

Clean condiments

Condiments

Nicely displayed - it was launch night after all - Dirty Burger offered French mustard and ketchup in a fun retro plastic tomato bottle. Honest Burger loses with a big fat industrial sized Heinz plunger bottle.

DB 1-0 HB

Homely Honest Burgers

The Interior

Dirty Burger is all wrapped up in corrugated iron, with the logo sprayed onto roughened up surfaces. It’s “dirrrty” but in a studied way. The stools are slightly too high making your feet swing uncomfortably off the ground. It’s more of a take-away joint, you’re not meant to hang around.

Honest Burgers has a noticeably more “designed” exterior than some of its Brixton market neighbours. It feels homely, with stacks of plates and hanging kitchen paraphernalia. It’s like they were halfway through a tidy up and then the doorbell rang. Un-matching chairs and a descriptive friendly menu chalked across a blackboard wall added to the unpretentiousness.   

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Look at all the burger munching ladies!

The Customers

Dirty Burger was bustling with Vauxhall’s smart commuters tempted in with a launch day 50% off offer. Honest was surprisingly dominated by females and when we arrived at 7.15pm on Tuesday, there was a 40 minute wait, a testimony to how good these burgers are.

You can’t really rate the customers but Honest is going to get a girl power point.

DB 0-1 HB

The Result:

DB 2-5 HB

Wow, a well deserved win for South London and I discovered lively Brixton Market too! I will definitely be back to try out some more of the grub in the little food outlets soon.

Vauxhall Dirty Burger

Arch 54 6 South Lambeth Rd, Vauxhall, SW8 1SS

Honest Burgers

Unit 12, Brixton Village, London, SW9 8PR

For you North London dwellers, Honest Burgers have just opened a another burger joint in Camden Town!